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What you want: Really expensive, really faded, really beat up, “boyfriend” jeans with holes in them, ala Katie Holmes.

What you got: Really old, really faded, really beat up jeans from 10 years ago that you can’t bring yourself to toss.

What you need: Holes in them. Get some sandpaper (180 Grit will work best), put a block of wood underneath the area you want the holes to be and rub the fabric until you get your desired “distress” level. Save yourself $200 and no Scientology required.

Want step by step instructions? Get them on Wikipedia.