This is a public service announcement for the ladies out there.
In your day-to-day social activities, you are very likely to encounter what is commonly referred to as a “pseudo-gangsta”.
This two minute information session aims to provide you with the knowledge you need to avoid and reject these troublesome pests.
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Do you have a small bladder? Or hemorrhoids? Perhaps an attention deficit disorder? Maybe you have a possessive partner who makes you call them at highly inconvenient times? Basically what I am asking is, do you have a difficult time sitting through an entire movie in the theatre? (more…)
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This site has been around for quite some time. In fact, Virgin Mobile was one of the first, if not the first, companies to openly say the dreaded R-word in their marketing material.
But now that the Bank of Canada has declared the recession dead and seemingly every company has used the recession in their marketing campaigns (no matter how tenuous the connection between their product and the recession), I think we can safely declare the recession dead. (more…)
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What’s crack-alackin’, party people!
Today is the last day to submit your entry to win two V-Fest passes! Send me an email by midnight tonight. If you send it at 12:01 am, I will not accept your entry. I am an asshole like that.
And who’s to say my clock isn’t a couple minutes fast? Don’t take any chances, folks. Have you looked into my eyes? These are the eyes of a man lacking any compassion or mercy.
We’ve already had some awesome entries. One entry tugged on my heartstrings a little bit, as it was from a husband asking for tickets for his lovely wife and devoted mother of his children. Another entry was written in the form of a ransom note, with letters clipped from magazines and newspapers. I won’t lie; I am almost scared to not make that person a winner.
What will your entry be? You better think quickly. You only have seven hours!
I will announce the winners tomorrow. Stay tuned and keep your fingers crossed!
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As you are no doubt aware, I am a stand-up comedian
If you were not aware, you better get with the times, because I was ranked 98th in Waterloo Region Magazine’s most recent list of up and coming disabled entertainers (in their May issue). You people are missing out on a rising star!
But I don’t want to ramble on about my accomplishments. Let’s get to the point of this post. According to this article in the Post-Tribune, the there has been a serious spike in comedy despite the recession, or more accurately, because of the recession.
Many people who were laid off from their former jobs are trying their hand at stand-up comedy. Whether they were executives or janitors, people have viewed their job loss as the perfect opportunity to test their mettle on the stage.
As a person who is attempting to make a living out of stand-up comedy, I am not too happy with the increased competition. But I am happy about the fact that the general public is altogether more receptive of stand-up comedy during the recession. Everyone just wants to laugh.
There is one quote in the article that scares the living bejesus out of me. Stephen Rosenfield, who has operated one of the country’s pre-eminent joke-telling schools, the American Comedy Institute, says that “it takes even the most talented person three to four years to get good enough to start earning money telling jokes.â€
I am committed to the craft of comedy, but three to four years? My god, that is a long time. My personal recession may be lasting a hell of a lot longer than the world recession.
Ah well, as long as I’m having fun, it will always be a fun time.
Unless I run out of food. That will make it a lot less fun.
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The zaniness continues as D.J. tests the limits of my tolerance (and yours) with a complete disregard for the sanctity of a locked bathroom. Could this be the final straw or will D.J. tug at my heart or guitar strings to help make light of the situation?
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All right pal, now you're just milking it.
I noticed that Thade posted about volunteering earlier. I couldn’t agree with him more that volunteering is one of the most fulfilling things you can do in this life.
I volunteer pretty frequently myself. On Tuesdays, I give post-workout rub downs to the competitive Canadian Hot Girl team. Thursdays, I do unpaid stand-up comedy at the local funeral home. Saturdays, I stand on the boulevard of a local street and yell at speeding drivers as they zoom by. Nobody asks me to do that last one, but I feel the difference I am making with every obscenity and hard object thrown in my direction. (more…)
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"?#@*&%! I should have listened to Grandpa, that crazy old kook." Comic closed captioning brought to you by Virgin Mobile
In a glorious time, nay magical time, at least six months ago, I was a university student. In my time at school, I learned a great deal about the fine art of ensuring that school does not interfere with partying. With classes about to resume in less than a month, I would like to take this opportunity to impart some of my wisdom to those of you who attend a post-secondary institution. (more…)
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Rejected Comments
August 21st, 2009 by D.J.One of the more critical components of my job is moderating the comments and deciding which ones are fit to make it into the blog.
I’ve taken this opportunity to share with you some of the comments that I was not able to publish originally for whatever reason. Enjoy.
Tags: D.J. Demers, Recession, Rejected Comments, Screw You Recession, Tim the Intern
Posted in Living | 8 Comments »