With fall fashion filling my dreams and those over-the-knee boots on the Holts centerfold haunting me night and day, I figured it was time to search for alternate sources of income. Unfortunately as I will be heading back to school in the next week, a job is simply out of the question. So what to do? I figured that somewhere out there, there must be a way to find money for nothing. Perhaps a needy millionaire, or a retired football player down on his luck looking for love and willing to put me on his will as the sole heir. After some self-reflection I remembered what my granddaddy once told me:
