Medusa! Not again!
With all this talk about saving money, I began to ponder the idea of saving as a whole. There is only so much money you can save before it starts lifting up your mattress, only so much energy you can save before the light bulbs start shining like disco balls. I like saving as much as the next guy or gal; I even save my chewing gum. But does it really matter? Is any of this really worth saving? At the end of the day we are all just cells, bones, and soul: so what can we save that will have a lasting effect in our lifetime?
Brain cells, anyone? The adult brain generates thousands of new cells each and every day, particularly in the part of the brain associated with learning and memory.
Unfortunately, these new neurons will have a shorter lifespan than Dee-Lite post “Groove is in the Heart” unless they are exercised. A little Richard Simmons for the brain, and you are on your way to becoming your own personal saviour- without the short shorts and hairy, gold-chained chest. Unless, of course, you want to wear short shorts. Because there isn’t anything wrong with that.
That being said, these little brain-babies are not popping out at a Kate Gosselin-approved rate. There are many factors affecting the production of these cells- as well as the destruction.
It is likely that many of you know of some of the paths to the destruction of brain cells. Perhaps you have sipped a few too many cream sodas on an occasion or two, or smoked a funny cigarette. Maybe you’ve stayed up studying for two days drinking Monsterampbull fizzy energy beverages. I know that you know that I know what that feels like. I know that you know that I am not fond of that paper-mouth wasp-buzz sound in my head. I know that you know that we both know that that doesn’t change a thing. Bzzz.
All of the above are contributing factors to the loss of our lovely little cell children that live between our ears and behind our eyes. All of them are avoidable, or can at least be counteracted.
I have compiled for you a list of the best ways to save or generate brain cells for your personal lifetime enjoyment. Please enjoy responsibly.
1. Exercise. I know, very boring, but it does both body and mind a load of good. Regular exercise increases the amounts of new cells being generated daily, thus increasing the chances of a party upstairs. In your brain. Can you tell I missed my workout today?
2. Blueberries: the miracle antioxidant. When tested in rats, the simple act of eating blueberries immediately increased neuron generation. Thing is, I don’t really know how we are going to be able to beat those rats away from their fruit fortresses now; its like Fort Blueberry Knox up here. Damn advanced rat security.
3. Sudoko has been embraced around the world as a hobby and pastime. Not only fun! Also keep new brain cells living! Talk about great marketing.
4. Green Tea has long been considered an excellent addition to a health lifestyle; now it appears that it is the duct tape of teas. It can fix anything- even damaged brain cells. I wonder if Red Green ever thought of this.
5. Now, if you aren’t big on pills this last one isn’t for you: the pill RU486 (mifepristone), commonly used to terminate early pregnancies, has been shown in studies to protect brain cells from nerve damage. A bit ironic? You be the judge and jury on that one.
In all the research, the one common thread is “use it or lose it”. So save yourself, everyone. Take the necessary measures to make what matters most last as long as you can.
Or I promise you, I will dress up as Richard Simmons myself and come over with five pounds of blueberries, three boxes of green tea, one months’s worth of Sudoko, and a treadmill and we will go till we puke.
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Tags: Kate Gosselin, Melissa Janke Oliver, Motley Crue, Recession, Red Green, Richard Simmons, RU 486, Saving, Screw You Recession, Sudoku
I like this. Love your writing Melissa
Romi- thanks so much for the compliments! hug it out–