Do you have a small bladder? Or hemorrhoids? Perhaps an attention deficit disorder? Maybe you have a possessive partner who makes you call them at highly inconvenient times? Basically what I am asking is, do you have a difficult time sitting through an entire movie in the theatre?

I personally suffer from small bladder syndrome myself. This affliction is particularly troublesome when I choose to drink large amounts of alcohol before and during viewing movies. I don’t make a habit of this; inebriation was just absolutely necessary to ensure I didn’t kill myself while viewing Crossroads and Glitter. Why did I view these movies in the cinema, you ask? Well let me ask you something. Have you ever lost a bet in prison?

If you also find yourself missing crucial scenes of movies for whatever reason, then I have got the perfect site for you. The site is called runpee.com and its raison d’être is to inform you of the perfect time to leave a movie so you can minimize the exciting content you miss.

This site exemplifies why I love the Internet. It is such a random and ridiculous idea for a site, but it is so incredibly useful. Here is an example of a runpee suggestion for a recent film with which you are probably familiar: The Hangover

“Runpee approximately 43 minutes into the movie when Phil calls Tracy – the fiancé – to tell her that everything is going great and they got the room comped so they are staying another night.”

You can rely on this advice alone or you can get a more detailed description of exactly what you will be missing. In the case of The Hangover, you would be missing the scene where they are tasered by schoolchildren in the classroom. Runpee explains, “the scene is funny but bears no importance to the plot.”

I completely agree with the part of the movie that runpee.com chose and its corresponding explanation. I can honestly say I will be using this site in the future. In a perfect world, you could always sit through an entire movie without getting up. But why not arm yourself with this helpful information just in case?

To end the post, here is another example from a classic movie you have undoubtedly seen: Gigli

“Runpee approximately 5 seconds after the opening previews have finished. Don’t return.”

OK I made that one up. But I don’t think anyone has ever made fun of Gigli before and I fancy myself an innovator.

And can you believe the Marlins beat the Yankees in the World Series? Their team payroll is less than the cost of one of Jeter’s foot massages. Hey-o!

Man, I really need to update my joke book from 2003.

Makes Cents (6)

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 20th, 2009 at 5:00 pm and is filed under Going Out. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Tags: Britney Spears, Crossroads, D.J. Demers, Gigli, Glitter, Mariah Carey, Recession, Runpee.com, Screw You Recession, The Hangover