You're just lucky the internet doesn't have 'Scratch & Sniff' yet
So there’s this garbage strike and I’m already starting to see the streets start to take on the putrid clutter of a medieval township. I was with my older sister (older siblings are great for buying you free things like coffee) on the patio of our local coffee shop, when I saw the public garbage bin positively overflowing with cups, bags and unmentionable things that were oozing.
I don’t feel any which way about garbage people striking at the moment, but I bet that if the stink of it reached my doorstep, I would probably get a little pissed off. Now, I like to nip these things in the bud, especially before the hairs on the back of my neck begin to stand up; so here are some things I came up with that I could do to make my immediate living area a little less stinky.
- EAT MORE FRUITS & VEGETABLES: They are compostable and something you could do to give back to the environment. Once you finish that apple, BURY IT. Then look around like it’s the most normal thing to be doing.
- CANNED GOODS: These are great because you can wash out the can and make a pencil-holder out of it. If you eat enough canned goods, you can propose to your lover and make some noisemakers to drag behind your future wedding car. If you’re really creative, you can make a weird post-modern bookshelf, using the cans as supports and old cereal box cardboard as the shelves.
- EAT EVERYTHING ON YOUR PLATE: You should be doing this anyway. You’d be surprised how those little bits of food accumulate into a steaming pile of stink.
This may sound ludicrous, but so is walking down the street and hearing “Bring out your dead!” while an old lady dumps slop in front of your feet on the sidewalk. Eight o’ clock and all’s well!
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Tags: Budget, Canned Goods, DIY, Garbage, George Panayotou, Medieval, Recession, Screw You Recession, Strike, Thrift
